My Review: Elizabethtown

Cameron Crowe is one of the great filmmakers of our time. His movies aren't just enjoyable experiences, but works of art that seem to stick with us long after we've seen them. Say Anything, Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous, Vanilla Sky, Singles... these films are captivating and enduring. And a big part of Crowe's gift has been to craft soundtracks to these films that elevate the movies into our consciousness many years later. Remember Tom Cruise shouting out the chorus to Free Fallin' as he raced along the highway, a busload of people singing Tiny Dancer, and John Cusack using In Your Eyes to profess his love? Vanilla Sky would have been something else entirely without the incredible soundtrack.

The music in Elizabethtown does not disappoint. However, whereas in his previous films Crowe used music as a device to help capture the emotion of the story, Elizabethtown's story and characters are underdeveloped (despite a two hour running time) and far too much reliance is placed on the soundtrack. Crowe seems to have spent too much time creating a wonderful mix tape and not enough on the screenplay. Perhaps because the film was based, in part, on his own healing following the death of his father, Crowe did not dig deep with his characters, and we are left without the personal introspection that usually follows seeing his movies.

The film does leave us with great new imagery to think of whenever we hear the highly mocked but honestly great "Freebird," and we do feel a renewed interest in creating mixtapes and taking roadtrips, so it was not a total waste of time. Also, Nancy Wilson's score is magnificient, and I've already added her CD's to my wishlist. Sadly though, I regret to report that so far, for me, the most enduring images of Elizabethtown weren't what Crowe was attempting. Unless he indeed wanted me to ponder Kirsten Dunst's odd smile.

Of course the true test of any film is time, and perhaps I'm rushing to judgement. The film's messages of appreciating life, love, music, and America may endure after all.

Grade: B-

J. Crew or Cruel?

Okay, so some people think PETA is a group of freaks, but they produced this video which depicts practices that are pretty hard to defend. Unless, of course, you're a heartless prick. Then maybe it doesn't bother you.

WARNING!! The following video contains highly graphic and gruesome imagery. It depicts grossly inhumane treatment of dogs and cats. The animals are first shown during the transportation stage, packed in tiny cages of top of one another, and then dropped from thirty feet down on to the ground. Then the animals are de-skinned for the use of their furs in clothes. Allegedly the cat and dog fur is often deliberately mislabeled as fur from other species and is exported to the United States to be sold to unsuspecting customers in retail stores. PETA further alleges that if you buy fur from J.Crew you may be wearing the fur from abused dogs and cats.

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=jcruel_china_dog

Watch this video if you have the stomach for it, but definitely visit www.jcruel.com and tell your freinds about it.

Some people think PETA is a bunch of freaks, but they were successful in getting PETCO to stop selling large birds such as parrots in unsafe conditions, and helped convince Mary Kay and Revlon to stop testing their products on animals. They also got McDonalds to require improvements in the treatment of the animals raised and slaughtered by its suppliers. This in turn makes the meat safer for us to eat.

Again, you don't have to be a freak to think there's something inhumane about the treatment of the animals in this video: http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=jcruel_china_dog

Leaving New York

I am coming up on the one year anniversary of my relocation from Long Island, NY to Greensboro, NC. It's amazing to think how quickly the last year has gone by. People ask me how the transition has been, and really it's been mostly good. My wife and I are feeling really good about our move. There are things I miss, of course. Besides my friends and family, and The Mets, it is hard to get good pizza and down right impossible to get a decent bagel. Although spare ribs are A LOT better down here!

The last time I was up visiting New York I discovered two things that so far I've been unable to find down here in The South. My message to the manufacturers: PLEASE try and secure distribution down here! The items:

Velamints Vanilla Mints
Velamints Chocolate mints have been around for awhile, and are readily available here, but these vanilla flavored mints are awesome. They taste kind of like cream soda. They're sugar free and fat free, and work great as a breath freshener. So far I haven't found them anywhere but at Trader Joe's on Long Island though...

Thomas Corn Toasting Bread
No, not corn bread, which is very much available in The South. This is sliced bread, with a look and texture just like the bread you make sandwiches with all the time, except it tastes remarkably like a corn muffin! If you toast a couple slices with butter, it makes an amazing snack! Delicious!

So, please, To The Powers That Be at George Weston Bakers and The Wrigley Company: Bring me these awesome snacks!

And if only I could find some decent pizza...

Lost Video

So I got a few complaints that my summary of Lost was missing a few key details. You may have a point... so check out this music video that attempts to summarize the first season.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/272811

Fans of Weird Al Yankovic and Queen will either love it or be outraged.

Lost Spoiler

One of my favorite shows on television is Lost. It's a great show, and it's wildly popular now, but still every so often I'll try to talk to someone about it, and they tell me they don't feel like they can watch the show because they didn't see it from the beginning and wouldn't be able to pick it up mid-stream. I understand. It's a serial, so potential viewers may feel like they will have too many storylines to try and figure out if they were to start watching the show mid-season.

Well, as a public service, I will now summarize all of the show's major plotlines so that the uninitiated will feel comfortable tuning in every Wednesday night at 9 PM (ET) on ABC:


A plane en route from Australia to Los Angeles has crashed, leaving 40 survivors to try and find a way off the island. Think "Gilligans Island," but each episode is an hour long.


You're Welcome.

The new season of Drawn Together on Comedy Central is a parody of Lost.

Everyone's a Comedian... even Bob Dylan

A page of jokes told by Bob Dylan on stage during various concerts
June 27, Phoenix, "Thanks everybody, you're too kind...You know, I was talking to Neil Young yesterday (audience cheers at the mention of Young) and he said to me, he said 'Bob, you just can't hear cool music on the radio anymore...' and I says to Neil, I says 'sure you just... (a decent pause) you just need to stick your radio in the refrigerator."

Okay, so he's not the best comedian out there, but he is still the most influential and prolific songwriter of our time. Do yourself a favor and catch Martin Scorcese's documentary No Direction Home, airing on PBS.

I missed it the first time it was on so I set my TiVo to record anything with Bob Dylan in it so I would catch the documentary whenever it aired again. What I got was a nice surprise. Besides recording the two part documentary, TiVo also found an episode of Dharma & Greg (I know, I know) guesting Mr. Dylan. He isn't really in the plot, but the last five minutes of the show is Jenna Elfman (Dharma) playing the drums, jamming with Bob! They banter a bit back and forth. It almost seemed improvised, the way they were cracking each other up.

Poster Children...

Poster Children For...

...Not Taking Steroids
It was announced today that reliever Felix Heredia (6.28 ERA in 2004; missed almost all of 2005 due to a shoulder aneurysm) will be suspended for the first 10 days of next season for violating baseball's steroids policy. He could get the award for Worst Ever Results From Steroids.

...Keeping Prostitution Illegal

This woman, Camille Cabral, showed up in Brussels to represent French prostitutes at a rally to end the criminalization of prostitution in Europe. I'm trying to avoid saying something really mean here, but I'll just let the photo speak for itself and see if you don't draw the same conclusion, okay?

...For Moving Inland

Hurricane Wilma (and yes, a hurricane can be a poster 'child.' It has a name after all), as the 20th tropical storm in the Atlantic Basin and 12th hurricane in the same region this year, sets 2005 as the worst year on record for storms. As if the devastation from Katrina weren't enough, just the idea of twelve threats to my home in a single year ensures that I'll never have my primary residence on these shores. I'm just glad I am in a position to make that kind of choice. Not all of us get to pick where we live and have the luxury of moving if we don't like it.

Land Of The Dead

I had no idea I lived so close by (the next town over!) to the Land Of The Dead! Zombies? This is gonna kill my property value.

'Shrooms

I made these sauteed mushrooms last week. They came out delicious!

Unicef is using a shock tactic to get attention for its anti-war ad campaign. The poor Smurfs' mushroom village gets bombed and look what happened to little Smurfette!



Want to grow your own mushrooms at home? Click here.

Daylight Fading

A great photo collection from Jason Kottke reflecting on the end of Summer. I could look at photographs all day long.

That new Nickelback song is still lame, though.

Fright Night

Lately the fear of having my home burglarized has been on my mind. The star of one of my favorite shows, Lost, and his wife woke up at 4 A.M. to find an intruder with a handgun, standing over them, demanding money. Early this morning my wife and I heard an odd beep emitting from our house alarm. It wasn't alerting us to an open door or anything, but apparently just noticed we'd moved the living room motion detector when we re-painted 3 months ago. That was unnerving. And in today's Newsday, there is an article about a rise in home-invasion robberies on Long Island, where I used to live.

The thing is that we don't even own anything worth stealing, and we don't have a safe full of cash or even much jewelry to speak about. So now I worry about pissing off a would-be burglar!Ugh. What to do? Living in fear isn't how I want to live, but I am not sure how to feel safe. Can we count on Mookie?

Cool Photographs

I love photography as much as anyone can without knowing anything about it. All those numbers on the side of a 35mm camera are just jibberish to me. I know this must be really shocking for fans of my "Mookie Of The Month" series, but it's true! I'd like to take a photography class, but the cost of a nice SLR just isn't something I can swing right now. Right now, I do all my photography on a 4.0meg Fuji FinePix camera. If anyone has some advice, post a comment!

Here are some cool photography sites:

http://990000.com

www.flickr.com

http://vphoto.blogspot.com/

i(want)Pod

Okay, so I have wanted an iPod for a little while now, and now they just introduced a new version that makes me REALLY REALLY want one. They are hyping the new feature that allows it to play video, but I could give a crap about that. What's really cool about the new iPod is that you get 50% more space, but it's thinner, and comes in black. Oh, and for the same price of $299. Beat that. I dare you.

Why would anyone buy a Nano?

ipod-------Nano ---- 4th gen. iPod ---- NEW iPod Video
capacity --- 4g ---------20g ---------------30g
price ------$249 -------$299 ------------- $299


Somebody please buy me one.

http://www.apple.com/ipod/ipod.html
Apple Introduces New Video IPod

Mookie Of The Month - October

Doesn't get any better than this...

Yankees Break Tom Hanks' First Rule Of Baseball

...when Torre and Giambi passed each other on the Fenway Park mound after the Yankees clinched, Giambi says Torre hugged him one more time and told him, "Words can't even describe how I feel about you, and how your year went."

Asked what he said back, Giambi replied, "Not a lot. I got choked up a little bit."

Then Giambi looked at Torre and saw "he was crying, too."

http://www.newsday.com/sports/printedition/ny-spbbhow044454200oct04,0,3628727.column?coll=ny-sports-print

Touching. Just touching, really.

List of Lists

Do you like lists? I know it's a strange thing to be a fan of, but I really dig lists. To Do lists are the only organizational tools I truly embrace, and I also love Top Ten lists and lists like 101 Things Removed From The Human Body. Sick show by the way! Timothy McSweeny also apparently shares my enthusiasm for lists, as he regularly posts them on his blog. Check out lists like Things Koala Bears Would Say, Poorly Selling T-Shirts, Elements Waiting Patiently for Inclusion on the Periodic Table, and Obscenities Uttered by Jesus Christ (such as "Dad damn you," and "Holy Mom, mother of me,"). See them all here.

New FDNY Chaplain Doubts Official 9/11 Story

Conspiracy theories about what really happened on September 11th have circulated on the internet and in European newspapers for years, but this is the first time I've seen it as a front page story in a major American newspaper.

The reason it made it here is that the new FDNY chaplain, Imam Intikab Habib, the man who's job it is to provide spiritual guidance to New York's firefighers, has made comments questioning how the Twin Towers could have collapsed from the fire caused by the jets:

"I've heard professionals say that nowhere ever in history did a steel building come down with fire alone," he said. "It takes two or three weeks to demolish a building like that. But it was pulled down in a couple of hours. Was it 19 hijackers who brought it down, or was it a conspiracy?"

Habib is muslim, and was questioned by Newsday whether he anticipated difficulties performing his duties as chaplain when there may be resentment towards muslims because of 9/11.

"I as an individual don't know who did the attacks," said Habib, 30, a soft-spoken man who immigrated to New York in July 2000 after spending six years in Saudi Arabia getting a degree in Islamic theology and law. "There are so many conflicting reports about it. I don't believe it was 19 ... hijackers who did those attacks."

I wonder what the outcome of these comments will be.

Full Story

UPDATE: 12:04 PM: "The Fire Department this morning received the resignation of Imam Intikab Habib from his position of FDNY Chaplain," said FDNY Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta. "Based on comments he made to Newsday, Imam Intikab Habib would have been unable to effectively serve in the role he was appointed to."

Well, so there you go.

Dog Art

Cool dogs spotted at the Fairmont Hotel in Chicago

Braves (fans) Stink!

For the last several years, at some point between the end of July and the beginning of September, I've had to switch my alliance from rooting for the Mets, to rooting against the Yankees and Braves. I've had much more success at this part of my fandom, as neither team was won a championship lately.

Who knows what will happen this year, but regardless of the outcome of this years World Series, I do at least have this: Braves fans don't wash their hands after they use the bathroom. In a study done recently, it was reported that at Atlanta's Turner Field, 37 percent of men left the bathroom without washing, while 16 percent of the women did.

Meanwhile, lets go Red Sox and Cardinals!

Talk Liek A Pirate Day

Gag Gift Of The Year - "The Ex"

This is an actual knife set you can really buy - It's called "The Ex," and it costs $80 bucks here. Maybe this will be as big as those singing fish were a few years back.

Talkin' Baseball

I don't have a strong feeling either way about the nomination of John Roberts for Chief Justice (though the lack of hysteria on the matter coming from the left is comforting), but I was glad to hear his baseball analogy:

"Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules; they apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules, but it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire."

"...I will fully and fairly analyze the legal arguments that are presented. I will be open to the considered views of my colleagues on the bench. And I will decide every case based on the record according to the rule of law without fear or favor to the best of my ability. And I will remember that it's my job to call balls and strikes and not to pitch or bat."

There are some MLB umps who could learn a thing or two from this guy!

Hero Of The Week - George W. Bush (seriously!)

Bush Takes Responsibility for Blunders
By LARA JAKES JORDAN, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - President Bush' said Tuesday that "I take responsibility" for failures in dealing with Hurricane Katrina and said the disaster raised broader questions about the government's ability to respond to natural disasters as well as terror attacks.

Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government," Bush said at joint White House news conference with the president of Iraq'

"To the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility," Bush said.

The president was asked whether people should be worried about the government's ability to handle another terrorist attack given failures in responding to Katrina.

"Are we capable of dealing with a severe attack? That's a very important question and it's in the national interest that we find out what went on so we can better respond," Bush replied.

He said he wanted to know both what went wrong and what went right.

As for blunders in the federal response, "I'm not going to defend the process going in," Bush said. "I am going to defend the people saving lives."

Full Story

This is the first time I've seen anyone accept responsibility for what happened, and it came from the most unlikely of places - a man who's never wanted to admit mistakes. The cynic in me says this is a response to falling poll numbers, but ultimately it was the right thing to do and I applaud him for it.

Bush On Vacation

I think this Photoshop creation pretty much sums up the country's sentiment towards the President right now.

Katrina damages Bush in two polls
Bush's Approval Rating Is Lowest of His Presidency

An Ominous Issue

In April's Issue of Popular Science, in a section called When Earth Attacks, the magazine looked at potential disasters we face at the hands of Mother Nature. Volcanoes, Landslides, Tsunami's, Earthquakes, and Hurricanes were all covered. The part on Hurricanes was all about what would happen if a Category 5 hit New Orleans.

Although hurricanes of this magnitude slamming directly into New Orleans are extremely rare—occurring perhaps every 500 to 1,000 years—should one come ashore, the resulting storm surge would swell Lake Pontchartrain (a brackish sea adjoining the Gulf of Mexico), overtop the levees, and submerge the city under up to 40 feet of water. Once this happened, the levees would "serve as a bathtub," explains Harley Winer, chief of coastal engineering for the Army Corps’s New Orleans District. The water would get trapped between the Mississippi levees and the hurricane-protection levees. "This is a highly improbable event," Winer points out, "but within the realm of possibility."

What is America's Worst Airport?

It has been quite a year for me with traveling. I've been lucky enough to experience many of our nation's airports. My least favorite airports to travel through are:

Washington D.C. (Dulles)
Charlotte, NC
Orlando, FL

But what is America's Worst Airport? I'll be posting on this subject occasionally to try and get to the answer. A big part of the hassle at airports is the wait time at the security line.
Check out this chart from USA Today that tracks the longest wait times in security lines. They've ranked America's 100 busiest airports to see how they compare.

Surprisingly, little ol' PTI in Greensboro/High Point has the highest average wait time (almost 8 minutes), and the highest percentage of wait times over 10 minutes (over 23 % of the time). Meanwhile, LAX in Los Angeles has the highest maximum wait time (almost 2 and a half hours!)
Going forward, I'll compare frequency of delays, aesthetic appearance, comfort, and any other way to compare airports to find.... America's Worst Airport. (bump, bum, BUM!!!)

Comments, Please!

The Poverty Line

Here's a reality check...

http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/003704.html

Mookie Of The Month - September

Happy Labor Day everyone! Drink Up!














P.S. Please don't e-mail me with complaints or call animal protection on me or anything. I assure you, the bottle was empty!

The Wilburys Live On!

Worth the time it takes to download is this animated video of The Travelling Wilbury's song "Cool Dry Place," featuring lead vocals by Charlie T. Wilbury (A.K.A. Tom Petty). What's really cool is that the video was made by a 13 year old kid named Mitch. Check it out and give the kid some props!
http://www.deviantart.com/view/21898582/

Better stock up on Drano

Back when Al Gore created the internet, I'm not sure he had this in mind:

http://catsinsinks.com/

Why not?

The Big Easy?

You have to view Newsday's slideshow of pictures from the devastation left by Hurricane Katrina. I've visited New Orleans twice in the past year, and even stayed at The Hyatt which now looks like a bomb blew it out. Unreal.
http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/sns-hurricane-katrina-pix,0,3092265.photogallery?index=2

My Review: March Of The Penguins

Even the most heartless bastard would enjoy this documentary about penguins! The film, narrated by Morgan Freeman, shows the arduous journey the Emperor Penguin endures every year for one sole purpose: mating. Gotta love it. The filming of this feature must have been is an incredible undertaking, as we watch the penguins huddle through the harshest of winter storms, deep in Antarctica. It's worth the price of admission just for the images of a part of the earth most of us never will get to see. Oh, and a bit of advice for the aforementioned heartless bastards: check this film out on a weekday afternoon, when there's apt to be fewer annoying children talking and running around in the theater. Grade: A


UPDATE (8/30): Jason Kottke tells the interesting story of how the original French edit of the film was reworked to be more appeaing the US audience: http://www.kottke.org/05/08/march-penguins-remake

What the fuss is all about...

I recently was forwarded an essay titled "What's All the Fuss?" by Doug Patton, where the author chastises the media for investigating mishandlings of the Koran at Guantanomo Bay. Basically his position is that our soldiers can do no wrong since they are fighting a dangerous enemy. He also has made a distorted correlation between 9/11 and the war in Iraq...

http://www.gopusa.com/commentary/dpatton/2005/dp_0606p.shtml

What I found most interesting about what he doesn't care about, is respecting the Koran while it's illegal to own a bible in Saudi Arabia. It's true that it's illegal for Christians to prostelitize and distribute Bibles in Saudi Arabia. The CIA Factbook says of the country, "The Government prohibits public non-Muslim religious activities. Non-Muslim worshippers risk arrest, imprisonment, lashing, deportation, and sometimes torture for engaging in overt religious activity that attracts official attention." http://www.state.gov/g/drl/rls/irf/2002/14012.htm

It's evident that Christians, and Jews are not welcome in Saudi Arabia and in fact Saudi Arabia is a hotbed for religious extremism. I wonder if Doug Patton cared when George Bush was seen walking hand in hand through a rose garden with Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah when 15 of the 19 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia?
ANYWAY... What the fuss is all about is that Saudi Arabian hijackers inspired/directed by Osama Bin Laden flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and instead of severing political ties with Saudi Arabia or even engaging in military tactics against that country we instead invade an impotent Iraq and, as Doug Patton says, wait for Osama to "turn himself in."

Yes, we are at war. But are we at war with the right people?

Hypocrite Of The Month - Pat Robertson

Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson said that the U.S. should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Since the statements caused an uproar, he has tried to say his statements were taken out of context, however the meaning of his statements are pretty straightforward:

"If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it"

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said. "We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/08/23/robertson.chavez.1534/index.html

Now, some of Pat Robertson's (hopefully dwindling) supporters may say that they agree with his suggestions, but agreeing with his statements is irrelevant. What is relevant is that here is a man who claims to be a man of God, suggesting murder as a viable option. I'm pretty sure there is something in the Bible about killing. Hmmm...

Pulp Fiction 2 - President Koons

Christopher Walken is running for President in 2008.

I haven't been this excited since Andy Kaufman announced he wasn't dead.

What Is Rollyo?

Dave Pell of davenetics has created a new site called rollyo with the tagline "Roll Your Own." He is asking people to help beta test the new site, but he isn't saying what the site is. He asks us to sign up to help out based only on the logo (which is a cool one, as logos go) and faith in the power of Dave. I signed up because I dig his blogs and figure it might be cool to get in on whatever this is in the early stages and be part of helping it grow, whatever it is.

http://rollyo.com/
http://davenetics.com/2005/08/roll-your-own/

I need To Go To Japan

http://www.sapporobeer.jp/CGI/news/index.cgi?key=pop1&seq=759

How About That?

Check out this AMAZIN' catch by Mets' 3rd baseman David Wright!

Click here for dial up

Click here for high speed


WOW!!!



www.mets.mlb.com

http://www.newsday.com/sports/baseball/mets/

World's Ugliest Dog

This is Sam, a really ugly dog. He is so ugly he got his own website! http://samugliestdog.com/

Previous Post: The World's Ugliest Cat

Mookie Of The Month - August

Who Brought The Nearsighted Kid To The Pool?

Mookie Video

See Mookie chase off the geese!

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=mookiechasinggeese2 Awesome!

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=DSCF056765 This one would be better, if only I had steadycam.

Putfile.com's Top Videos Of The Week

Putfile.com is a website that allows anyone to post their wave movies or flash videos for free. Why it is a free service, I don't know, but it's pretty cool that it is. Anyway, here are 5 of the most downloaded movies and flash videos off putfile.com this week:

1. Hot chick driving a Ferrari 'nuff said.

2. Two Weird Japanese Kids This defies explanation. At first, it looks a bootlegged video of two kids horsing around with a video camera in a video they must've hoped would never see the light of day. Then, it becomes apparent that this is actually a highly rehearsed video that in ten years they will have hoped never saw the light of day. As they say here in the South, bless their hearts.

3. Funny Family Guy clip A funny clip from a great, great show. Look out for the Family Guy movie this fall.

4. A compilation of unfortunate events. Some people getting jacked up.

5. Really Bad MC Hammer/Old Guy/Elmo video. This is really lame. However, it allows me to dream that someday, with about 8 minutes of learning Flash, I could create a Top putfile.com video.

V.I.C.K.I.'s older, hotter sister

My friend Dave once said to me about the show "Small Wonder,"

"If you had the ability to create a lifelike female, why would you make her 11 years old?"

Japanese scientists apparently have had the same idea. They created a robot that looks and moves like an adult woman. Apparently it's not quite ready for Prime Time yet, though:

"Repliee Q1 can interact with people. It can respond to people touching it. It's very satisfying, although we obviously have a long way to go yet."

Full Story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4714135.stm

'Catastrophic Success,' or 'Mission Accomplished'

So, I didn't post yesterday, so technically my goal of posting every day for 30 consecutive days didn't happen. But, you'll live. i'll attempt to make up for it by talking about some success stories by other people.

Return To Space

First, the shuttle launch. I was in Vegas the morning of the launch, so since I didn't have to start my work duties out there until 10 AM Vegas time, I was able to watch the launch live at 7:30 AM. It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. The utter speed of the shuttle was so incredible. The reporters said at top speed, the shuttle could fly from New York to LA in ten minutes. Too bad we can't all get around that quick.

Here's video of the launch:
http://www-pao.ksc.nasa.gov/kscpao/videos/metafiles/ksc_072605_rtf_launch.ram

Here's video of the fuel tank seperating from the shuttle:
http://www-pao.ksc.nasa.gov/kscpao/videos/metafiles/ksc_072605_rtf_etcam.ram

NASA's official page on the shuttle mission: http://www.nasa.gov/returntoflight/main/index.html

Tour De Lance

I tried earnestly to follow Lance Armstrong's attempt to win his 7th Tour De France. I read the daily reports several times, and I have come to realize I have no idea how cycling races work. Somehow it is a team sport, but I can't figure it out. I have heard that NASCAR is a team sport as well, though I'm not sure if it's the same type of thing.

Anyhow, I did learn something this week. And yes, I am aware that practically everyone else already knew this, but I didn't know that Lance had never won a Tour De France before his comeback from cancer. Again, I do realize he wrote a bestselling, highly inspirational book on this, which led to the proliferation of those yellow rubber wristbands to be worn everywhere, but I can't be the ONLY one to have not known this, so I am writing it anyway. He said that the reason he was always a failure in the French races was because he always dreaded going to Europe. He was consumed by his own negativity, and ultimately the cancer helped him focus on how fortunate he was, and what an amazing opportunity it was to be racing in this famous race. I now have a greater understanding of Lance Mania, though no better an understanding of the rules of his sport. Now, can his girlfriend release her new album already?

The Klosterman

Besides accumulating frequent flyer miles, time for leisure reading is the major benefit of travelling via airplane. I have always enjoyed reading Chuck Klosterman's columns in Esquire magazine, but I just discovered his book, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. A hysterical read. I am not even done with the book yet, but he's already become one of my favorite authors. Somehow managing to be ludicrous and dead-on insightful at the same time, I can't wait to share this book with friends. Klosterman examines small items in pop culture and analyzes them for clues on how they make statements on society as a whole. From The Real World to Billy Joel to John Cusak, it's the most interesting and funny book I've read in forever.

Thanks, Mr. Klosterman. You made being stuck in McCarren Airport for 6 hours not such a terrible experience. And that's despite having to listen to Rich Little's dreadfully unfunny impression of Kirk Douglas, warning passengers of the dangers of the moving sidewalk, on electronic loop over and over and over again for that same six hours.

"Hi this is Rich Little as Kirk Douglas, reminding you to watch your step. Otherwise you might fall on your dimple."

Yes, We May Have No Bananas!

Did you know that bananas are in danger of extinction? I heard this some time ago and shrugged it off as an urban myth, but this month's issue of Popular Science has a big article on the subject. In short, bananas as we know them are very vulnerable to being wiped out to a fungus or disease, and if it happened, would happen very quickly. Within 5 to ten years from now our supermarket shelves could be completely devoid of what is now America's most popular fruit!

This actually happened one other time in our history. The bananas on our kitchen tables 40 years ago were a bit different (and tastier) than the ones we have now. Those bananas, called the Gros Michel, were eventually wiped out by a fungus in the early 1960's, after a 50 year fight. They were replaced by what we eat now, a breed called The Cavendish. The demise of the Cavendish could be more imminent. A new disease is already affecting banana crops throughout Asia, and if the disease makes it's way to Latin America, the banana could be toast. Scientists are working feverishly to both build a defense against an impending fungus and develop a new breed of bananas that would replace the Cavendish in the event of it's demise. So far, the scientists haven't had luck in either area. Check out the full article for the story, http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/article/0,20967,1076199,00.html and enjoy The World's Perfect Food while you still can.

A Little Summer Reading

A man named Josh Kaufman has compiled a list of 40 books, that if you read them all, would give you roughly the same education as if you had gone to business school to get your MBA. He calls it the Personal MBA Program, and by visiting www.personalMBA.com you can discuss the books on the list as well as many other topics. It's this part that simulates the interactivity of a traditional MBA program.

So, if you are interested in an MBA program for the educational aspect, and not for the resume-padding aspect, this might be a cool project to take on. Or, if you've been illegitimately listing an MBA on your resume and are worried that you might be exposed as a fraud, this project may at least help you seem like you know what you're talking about!

Meet The Mets

Just finished reading "The Bad Guys Won," by Jeff Pearlman. It's the story of the 1986 Mets, one of the most dominating teams of all time. Jeff Pearlman not only takes us inside the clubhouse of this gang of jokers, ball-busters, excessive drinkers, and wildly talented ball players, he takes us onto the plane where the team celebrated their NLCS victory with such a wild party that they destroyed the jet's interior.

We learn about all the different personalities, and get inside the sad deconstruction of two of the most talented players to ever play the game. Dwight Gooden and Daryl Strawberry simply threw their talents away. On the other end of the spectrum was Gary "the Kid" Carter. His squeaky clean image, big smile, and exuberence in front of the camera rubbed practically everyone the wrong way. Opposing players hated him and his own teammates couldn't stand him, mostly because he wasn't like them. He wasn't a drinker, a carouser, a brawler... mostly, he wasn't cool. He was a big geek and like bullies in a schoolyard, thugs can't stand a geek.

The last few pages take us to the present day, and how each of these guys are faring almost twenty years later. Undisputably, the title for most successful career from that team goes to The Kid. The only Hall Of Famer on the club, Gary Carter gives hope to all nerds getting wedgies in high schools around the country.

Quiz NOT Created by Charles Schultz of The Month

Someone sent this quiz to me that was supposedly created by Chales M. Shultz (creator of Peanuts). Well, the quiz wasn't created by him, but it's pretty insightful anyway:

You don't actually have to take the quiz. Just read this straight through and you'll get the point. Here's the first quiz:
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

How did you do? The facts are, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Kind of cool, huh? Okay, now here's a quote that actually was written by Charles M. Shultz:

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today ...... It's already tomorrow in Australia."

Odd Picture Of The Month

Snopes is a great site to debunk myths. As often as the Internet is used to dispurse misinformation, Snopes works really hard to sort out the truth.

Please visit www.snopes.com often for all your myth debunking needs, but today just check out this page for the weirdest picture you may ever see:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/gruesome/googly.asp

What is Art?

I came across this clip and didn't really think much of it. I didn't think it was very shocking or even very funny. Then I followed the creator's (not THE Creator's) suggestion that I read the reactions to the clip, here, and the heated discussion that ensued. It was then I understood that the clip is, undisputably, Art. This is 21st century art. Instantly accessible to everyone, the way art is supposed to be, and evoking emotions, as art does at it's best.

I now have a better appreciation for some of the more abstract modern art that exists. Art doesn't have to be anything, or mean anything specific, but great art does evoke emotions, even if it is just a passionate response decrying the art as not art.

Damn I'm profound.

The clip: http://william.torkington.com/movies/20050716-7words.mov

The blog (scroll down for the Comments section): http://radar.oreilly.com/archives/2005/07/why_imovie_shou.html

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

One of my favorite shows on TV right now is Aqua Teen Hunger Force, on Cartoon Network. It's absolutely hysterical, but since it usually airs at 3:00 in the morning, I count on my Tivo to record it nightly. Anyhow, the show is 15 minutes long, and follows the adventures of the three main characters: Frylock (a box of French Fries), Master Shake (a giant milkshake), and Meatwad (a meatball), as well as their neighbor Carl (aging Guido). The show is too strange to describe any further, but I just found out a full length movie is in the works. I predict it will make at least $750,000 in the theater.

Here are the lyrics to the theme song by Schooly D:

My name is...
Shake zula
The mic rula
The old schoolah
You wanna trip? I'll bring it to ya
Frylock and I'm on top rock you like a cop
Meatwad you up next with your knock knock
Meatwad get the moneysee
Meatwad get the honeys, G
Drivin in my car livin like a star
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus
Cuz we are the Aqua Teens
Makes the homies say HO and the girlies wanna scream
Cuz we are the Aqua Teens
Makes the homies say HO and the girlies wanna scream!
HaHa! Aqua Teen Hunger Force number 1 in the hood G

Number One indeed.

The Aristocrats

I heard about this movie, created by Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller), and this "joke" about a year or so ago when this South Park clip was sent to me. As I understand it, the joke is really a gag played by stand-up vets on rookie comics or sometimes on nightclub audiences.

The idea behind the gag is that a hack comic without any real material will often just get up on stage and curse a lot, as if anything dirty is inherently funny. In the practical joke, the test is to see how much the rookie comic (or audience) will laugh at a joke with no punchline.

There are a million variations on how the joke is told, and the upcoming movie shows star comedians with their versions. In all the versions this is how the joke goes: A family is pitching their vaudeville show idea to a venue, and the act they're pitching is a series of outrageously vile acts on one another. After the act is explained, the organizer asks what the family calls their routine. They respond, "The Aristocrats."

How in the world a full length movie can be made out of this I have no idea but apparently it's all supposed to be a statement on free speech or something but so far, if you believe this article, the reviews have been great and audiences have found it really entertaining.

To view the trailer, see the list of comics who perform the joke in the movie, as well as for a better explanation of what this joke is and what this movie is like, visit the official site: http://www.thearistocrats.com/

A New York State of Mind

If you're a transplanted New Yorker, or need a gift for one, I've learned of an excellent website. One of the things I've missed about New York is the availability of rainbow cookies, also known as seven layer cookies. If you've ever attended a New York wedding you know these tasty treats: On a giant platter of assorted Italian cookies, you'll find two or three of these heavenly morsels, in all their red, yellow, and green glory. Grab one fast because they don't last long!



Anyway, these cookies are nowhere to be found down here, but I was given a box of them as a gift this weekend by my new favorite coworker. She ordered them from www.newyorkfirst.com This website is incredible! In addition to these cookies and Jerry Seinfeld's favorite black and white cookies from the William Greenberg Bakery, browse around and you'll also find Guss's pickles, H&H Bagels, Kossar's Bialy's, and Junior's of Brooklyn Cheesecake! Now all I need is Angelo's Pizza. Mmmmm......

Mookie Of The Month - July

Public Service Announcement Of The Month

Luckily I haven't yet been the victim of identity theft, but I've been researching it quite a bit lately. The best site I've found on the subject is Vicims Assitance Of America. They provide a free service to anyone who's been a victim of identity theft, and they are aggressively fighting to reduce the incidence of the crime. http://victimsassistanceofamerica.org

They also provide a long (i.e. exhausting) list of ways you can reduce the risk of identity theft happens to you. It's worth reading the whole list, but it seems these are the two most effective steps a person can take:

#3. Opt out of pre-approved credit and insurance offers as allowed under the Fair Credit Reporting Act (15 U.S.C. section 1681b (e). By calling 1-888-5OPT-OUT (1-888-567-8688) consumers can prevent the 4 national bureaus from releasing their name on the prescreened lists used to create pre-approved offers. The consumer has the option to opt out for 2 years or for life. We at VAA recommend for life and being done with it. This information is included in the ID THEFT LINKS section of the website also.

#22. Pull credit reports for the entire family at least once a year and be sure they are still clean of any tampering and accurate. At the VAA website click on the CREDIT REPORTS button in the left hand row of buttons and order your first ones now. Have all three credit reporting agencies put a permanent fraud alert on every family member’s credit report: and also a PIN or password if you haven’t done so yet. A fraud alert will make it where you can’t walk into a retail establishment any longer and get “instant credit” in your name –but neither can anyone else.

With a fraud alert on your credit reports at just three agencies, if anyone tries to use your name to establish credit the company extending credit in your name must call you first and get your OK. The fraud alert however is not fail-safe. We now recommend that you also ask for a PIN or password to be added to all three agencies report. This also makes it where no one can get instant credit. It totally locks down your credit report from anyone accessing it except you.

If you need to get a home loan or the like – you will have to offer to get the credit reports for the company (do not give them your password info). This step will stop pre-approved credit offers because those companies will not be able to access your account to see if you qualify. This one step alone would take a huge bite out of identity theft if everyone would just do it. How far can a perpetrator get if your permission has to be gotten in advance and no one can access your credit reports to authorize opening new accounts in your name? Do it Now! An Identity Thefter (when in access to your info) knows that he must act immediately to run up bills and move on. If your fraud alert and PIN/password is already in place, hopefully He’ll move on to his next victim the first time he’s turned down for credit in you name. If you find anything that you’d like to question or notice any problem when you receive your credit reports – feel free to CONTACT VAA by phone or e-mail so that a VAA Advocate can assist you with it.

Read the entire list at:
http://victimsassistanceofamerica.org/eduinfo/idtheft_prevention.cfm

And everyone's phone number starts with 555

Check out this funny webpage that lists 40 things that only happen in movies. Among the rules listed:

#13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

#39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).

#18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback

#35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

Living In A Jet Plane

Are you bored with your current home? Would you prefer to have one that has many more windows and is very strange looking? Your new home will be absolutely hurricane and flood proof, but part of the defense is that your new home to spins around with the wind like a weathervane on a column. How does that sound? Oh, and how about making this new house out of an old plane?

There is a company that is offering for sale: a B727-200 aircraft that they will convert into a house for a mere $300,000 (land not included).

http://www.airplanehomes.com

Just imagine the parties!

Fire Him, Please!

"I mean, my first thought when I heard, just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, 'Hmmm, time to buy.'"

- from an on-air transcript of Brit Hume, Washington Managing Editor, FoxNews, 7/7/2005.

This is the same tool who once said on air:

“Two hundred seventy-seven U.S. soldiers have now died in Iraq, which means that statistically speaking U.S. soldiers have less of a chance of dying from all causes in Iraq than citizens have of being murdered in California, which is roughly the same geographical size. The most recent statistics indicate California has more than 2300 homicides each year, which means about 6.6 murders each day. Meanwhile, U.S. troops have been in Iraq for 160 days, which means they’re incurring about 1.7 deaths, including illness and accidents each day.”

Of course this is a ridiculous manipulation of numbers! As Howard Kurtz reported in the Washington Post, “California has 34 million people, but there are 145,000 U.S. soldiers in Iraq.” As Buzzflash.com calculated, this means that U.S. troops in Iraq at that time were 66 times more likely to die than Californians were likely to be murdered. When Kurtz asked him about his comment, Hume responded: "Admittedly it was a crude comparison, but it was illustrative of something."

This man is a jackass and needs to be exposed as so!

Please don't fire me

So I put a posting up about tuning in to watch Fire Me Please on CBS, and it's not even on. I guess it's already on hiatus or something. Well, if it ever comes back on the air, check it out. It's a very funny show!

Fire Me, Please

My favorite new TV show of the summer is called Fire Me, Please, and it airs Tuesday nights on CBS. It's sort of like a game show version of Punk'd without celebrities. Basically they hide cameras in two stores where the contestants have been hired to work. The two people try to get fired on their first day of work, but they have to get fired as close to 3:00, without going over. The one who does wins like $25,000 or something, but that's besides the point. The entertainment value of the show is seeing how funny it is watching how much the bosses will put up with before they finally fire the people. It's really a riot to watch.

This link has some video clips: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/fire_me_please/

official link:
www.firemeplease.com

Where do you stand?

The past two presidential elections created a very testy environment between the two parties. We've become a nation divided into Red States and Blue States, with all of us individuals feeling isolated if we happen to have voted one way while our state went the other. We feel obliged to pick a side, declare our allegiance to it, and consider the opposing party the enemy. Well, if we're gonna pick sides, we may as well make sure the one we pick is in line with how we feel in our heart of hearts. Are you a 'conservative' because your parents are? Are you a 'liberal' because you don't care for George Bush?

Well here's a neat online questionaire that will help you figure out not only which side of the fence you really sit, but also just how Left or how Right you may actually be. The quiz may reaffirm your perspective or it might serve to make you question your allegiance entirely! Take it and see for yourself:

http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/questionnaire.pl?page=1

World's Ugliest Cat

American Girl

Check out the work of Tom Petty's daughter...

http://www.adriapetty.com/

She and I were in college at the same time. She at NYU, me at Hofstra. I never went through with my grand scheme of tranferring to NYU, dating and marrying Adria just so I could call Tom Dad.

Suicidal Sheep?

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey

Link: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=540&e=7&u=/ap/turkey_sheep_suicide

This is one of the crazier stories I've heard in a while. In Turkey, 1,500 sheep jumped of a cliff, killing 450 of them. Apparently the first one fell, or jumped, or whatever, and the rest followed! After a while, the fall was less deadly as the pile of sheep got bigger and bigger and provided more of a cushion for the sheep that followed later. Kind of a huge wool landing pad I guess.

I, for one, question the total number of sheep that jumped. I'm thinking the shepherds would have fallen asleep after counting the first few dozen. 1... 2.... 3.... 4.... Zzzzzzz....

Bah dum dum.

Jolie, Pitt Taking Home Ethiopian Orphan

Link: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=502&e=9&u=/ap/people_jolie

Most people just bring home a T-shirt or a snowglobe as a souvenir when they go on vacation...

Music Notes

With the sad images coming out of London this morning, reminding us what a violent world we live in, I thought this was a good time to provide a couple music links. Music has always been my favorite way to escape a little bit, and help me get through difficult periods.

Firstly, here's a cool link for any true-blue Counting Crows fans. It's a whole page of rare songs and alternate versions to some of your favorite CC songs. I happen to think that Adam Duritz is one of the best songcrafters of this generation, so this was a real treat for me: http://www.hummingbird617.com/hummschoice.html

Secondly, this may be one of the worst pieces of music to have ever been created, but it makes me smile all the same, so it's a must watch. It's the 1986 Mets video for the team’s theme song that season, Lets Go Mets. Link: http://www.promocast.com:8080/ramgen/mets/mets.rm Even if you're not a Mets fan it's a real riot to watch. A peek back at a different era, of sorts. Really, whatever happened to this lost art form, the team sports video? Remember the Chicago Bears' Super Bowl Shuffle? I guess the 2004 Red Sox are just too cool to create a World Series Wiggle or whatever.

Finally, here's the video of Jessica Simpson washing a car in a bikini: http://us.rd.yahoo.com/launch/hp/vidchart/1/*http://music.yahoo.com/video/20812189/
I'd say the music is secondary to the imagery in this video, but that would be giving the music too much credit. Enjoy!

I'm Lovin' Flippin Burgers?

http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/21472537

McDonalds is looking to hire Puff Daddy, Tommy Hilfiger, or some other top designer to design new employee uniforms. They say they want to "create uniforms that our crews would want to wear outside the restaurant environment."

McDonalds must be on drugs if they think any employee will want to advertise the fact that they work at McDonalds.

Most Awesome Website of The Month

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

This site is great on so many levels. Do you have a secret that you've been holding inside, that you can't bear to tell anyone? PostSecret is a website where people can anonymously tell their secrets to the world. It's utterly fascinating to read the secrets of others! And I am positive it is very helpful for people to read secrets posted that they themselves also have. Additionally, the artwork is beautiful and raw.

Anyone can post any kind of secret to the website. The only rule is that it must be a true secret that has never been shared with anyone before.

Visit Now: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Special Thanks to Ralphy's blog for the link: http://www.myspace.com/ralphys

Cinco de Julio

Hope you had a happy Independence Day, and didn't lose any fingers! Today's posting marks the first post in my attempt to post consecutively for 30 straight days. I've rarely been able to post for more than two straight days, so I'll be very proud of myself if I can pull it off.

The goals of this attempt are to see if I can create 30 days of relatively engaging content, thereby improving the overall quality of this blog, and hopefully generate more traffic.

So... check back here daily for my comments on pop culture and politics, reviews of movies and TV shows, and, of course, the Mookie Pic of The Month.

Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Happy Canada Day

Well, we've made it to July. According to the calendar in my cube, that means Canada Day has arrived! Boy hasn't the year just flown by? It seems like we just celebrated this holiday...

Meanwhile google.com has done nothing to acknowledge the holiday. Whenever a holiday comes around you can count on google to alter their logo to acknowledge the day. Today, nothing. What, they couldn't change one of the O's to a maple leaf, at the least?

Sheesh. Happy Canada Day, everyone!

Excerpts From New Book About Tom Petty

I'm real excited about this new book coming out in the Fall... it's a book of new interviews with Tom Petty covering a whole range of subjects, but primarily focusing on his songwriting. Those who know me know of my borderline obsession with Tom Petty over the years so this will be a real treat. Check out this link to read some excepts, including how he came to work with George Harrison and how the great song 'Refugee' was created:

http://www.tompetty.com/lastdj_newsdetail.php?section=announcements&id=5862

Free Stuff of The Month

Craigslist is a phenomenon that proves why the Internet is man's greatest invention of our age. Thanks to the internet, FREE stuff is more widely available than ever! And I am not talking about that FREE Ipod scam, either. This is some really great Free Stuff:

Free Dirt!

Free Baby chickens!

Free Horse Crap!

Free Ugly Couch!

Free Pit Bull!

Free Bad Haircuts!

The Real World - Austin

The ridiculous but (sort of) true story of seven horny hardbodies, picked to live in a free house, and have their sex lives taped. Watch what happens when young people stop being real and start being really dramatic.

I remember watching the Real World when I was too young too be a member of the cast. It's still on, but now I'm a bit too old and way too unattractive! Where do they find these people? Are there that many people out there with flawless bodies and no inhibitions whatsoever? Within the first ten minutes of tonight's season premiere the cast was in a hot tub and two of the girls were making out. A minute later all of them were in a shower. Then they decided to go out and get drunk, presumably to loosen up a bit.

This is the 16th season of this show! Man, am I old.

http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/realworld-season16/series.jhtml

My Review: Batman Begins

Growing up, Batman was always my favorite superhero character. He was just so darn unique! He managed to become mainstream, despite his darkness. Plus, he was the only superhero without superpowers. And remarkably, the newest film is as unique as it’s protagonist. How? Well, for starters, Batman Begins is one of the few surefire Hollywood blockbusters that are actually really good movies. And it’s a prequel, for crying out loud! How many other prequels are good? I can think of none. (Think: Dumb and Dumberer) But Batman Begins is fun, thrilling, and huge, without sacrificing acting, dialogue, or direction. Christian Bale takes his place among the all time greats to wear the cowl, and Katie Holmes’ performance is almost good enough to make you forget about this nonsense with Tom Cruise. Bottom line: I left the theatre feeling that my time and money were well spent. I can only hope for as much with next year's Superman Returns. Grade: A

links:
www.batmanbegins.com
Superman Returns Preview Page
http://www.freekatie.net/

Tacky Present Of The Month - The Flower Cake

Not only is it ugly, but it's inedible!

Happy Birthday! Hope you're not hungry!

Michael Jackson Haiku

Excuse me, Michael,
You left your nose in my pants.
Do you want it back?

Read more at:
http://tobiasmifflemarbhaiku.blogspot.com/2005/06/tobias-mifflemarbs-michael-jackson_08.html

Jacko is a Whacko

Can someone tell me why it's taken so long for the jury to return a verdict? To me, these statements are confessions:

Jackson said: "I have slept in a bed with many children, I slept in a bed with all of them when Macaulay Culkin was little, Kieran Culkin would sleep on this side, Macaulay Culkin was on this side, his sisters in there.
"It's very right. It's very loving."

"Why can't you share your bed? That's the most loving thing to do, to share your
bed with someone," he said.

Anyone else who uttered this line after being accused of molestation would have been locked up a long time ago.

Negative statements about the kid's parents are completely irrelevant. Any parent who allows their kids to sleep over a 45 yr. old man's house is a bad parent. A completely separate issue. Lock MJ up and decide another time if the kid has unfit parents.

Mookie Of The Month - June

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Add this blog to your newsfeed (such as My Yahoo!) using the following url:

http://mikey5.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Yankees Fans

A special column for all the new parents out there who are looking for some advice on how to raise their kids right: You can buy volumes from Dr. Spock, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Sears, all of which will tell you things you already know. What none of these so-called experts will do is tell you is that the best thing you can do is make sure your kid picks the right baseball team to be a fan of.

Before you laugh, or worse yet type "milkandcookies.com" into the address window of your browser, let me explain: You may have heard before that you can tell a lot about a person's character by which team they root for. But has it occured to you that it's an inverse relationship? That which team you root for influences your character?

Some examples:

Being A Yankees Fan
Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Bill Gates to hit the lottery. 26 World Championships. Enough Hall Of Famers in their history to fill out a roster. A payroll greater than the GNP of some countries. The Yankees are expected to win every year. Their owner demands it! George actually uttered the words "winning is second only to breathing." Win, win, win. Even in the Yankees most disappointing year (2004), they came within three outs of the World Series! Yankees fans expect their team to win every year. And most years, they do.

What kind of character does this constant satisfaction breed? These types of expectations can create an attitude that the world owes you success, rather than that success needs to be earned. How can one savor success unless they know the taste of defeat?

Being a Cubs Fan
Rooting for the Cubs is like hoping the price of gas goes down. It gets to the point where you accept disappointment as a way of life. Sure, success is bound to come your way eventually (see 2004 Red Sox), but when success does happen it is more like a miraculous event where heavens were aligned properly and curses are reversed rather than anything hard work brought you.

It's important that people understand disappointment is a part of life, but it's equally important for us to believe that success is plausible if we work hard enough for it. We need to learn to enjoy those moments of glory, and use them to remind us to appreciate the fruits of our labor. Losing every year for 97 years isn't character building, it's masochism.

Being a Mets Fan
1969, 1973, 1986, 2000. Four World Series appearances; two World Championships to show for it in 43 years of existance as a franchise. Not exactly world beaters, but just enough beautiful memories to make the phrase "Ya Gotta Believe!" more than just a silly rallying cry. Mets fans have their heroes: Tom Seaver, Keith Hernandez, Mike Piazza... And Mets fans know defeat: the 60's, the late 70's, the early 80's, the mid 90's, Kenny Rogers and Roger Cedeno. But Mets fans also know the excitement of a Shea Stadium crowd roaring so load and celebrating so wildly that it feels like a low level earthquake.

As sports fans we don't swing bats or throw balls, but sticking through the lean years and being a spectator of the process where hard work, passion, drive and leadership pay off into championships teaches us how to be hard working, passionate, and grounded individuals. And isn't that how you want your kids to be?

So for your kids' sake, set an example as a parent. Respect one another. Take responsibility for your actions. Show affection. Communicate. Vote in every election, and I don't mean the All Star Game. And finally, don't let them anywhere near an open flame or a Yankees insignia until they're old enough to make these types of decisions on their own.

Hero Of The Month: Congressman Ron Paul of Texas (R)

Surprised that I would nominate a GOP'er as hero? Well, get over your surprise and pay attention: In a heroic act that goes beyond nonpartisanship, House Representative Paul was one of only three Republicans who voted against the Real ID Act earlier this month.

What's the Real ID act, you might ask? For one thing, the Real ID Act is an act that was attached to a military spending bill, so that when the bill makes it's way to the Senate, voting against it is potentially career suicide for any ambitious Sentaors . Just as was seen with John Kerry in the last election, in a campaign it doesn't matter why one votes against a bill, only that one votes 'No'. A vote against a military spending bill, for any reason, is exploited as a sign of someone who doesn't support the troops. This is just one example of what's wrong with politics in America, but that's for another column. Today it's time to explain what the Real ID act is, and how dangerous it is.

Essentially, a Real ID is an identification card that will replace your drivers license as your main source of identification. It will be a card approved by the Federal government, and owning one will be necessary for anyone who wants to travel on an airplane, open a bank account, collect Social Security payments, or take advantage of nearly any government service.

On the surface, all it means to you is that it will be a royal pain in the butt to get your next drivers license, because to get the Real ID card that replaces it you'll need to dig through your stuff to come up with "photo identity documents" that prove you are who you say you are. Then you'll be issued this new card which will have some kind of electronic feature that stores all your information on it.

Supporters of the new card, including James Sensenbrenner (R) of Wisconsin say that the new card will:

"hamper the ability of terrorist and criminal aliens to move freely throughout our society by requiring that all states require proof of lawful presence in the U.S. for their drivers' licenses to be accepted as identification for federal purposes such as boarding a commercial airplane, entering a federal building, or a nuclear power plant,"

Hard to argue with that, no? But what we need to examine are a) will this actually stop bad guys from doing bad things, and b) does this represent an encroachment on the freedoms of us, the non-bad guys? In an era where politicians rarely vote against party lines, it's notable when a Republican votes against a Republican sponsored bill. Such is the case with our hero, Congressman Paul. As part of the debate on this act, Paul said:

This bill purports to make us safer from terrorists who may sneak into the United States, and from other illegal immigrants. While I agree that these issues are of vital importance, this bill will do very little to make us more secure. It will not address our real vulnerabilities. It will, however, make us much less free. In reality, this bill is a Trojan horse. It pretends to offer desperately needed border control in order to stampede Americans into sacrificing what is uniquely American: our constitutionally protected liberty.

A Republican standing up for civil liberties? This is big. He continues:

This bill establishes a massive, centrally-coordinated database of highly personal information about American citizens: at a minimum their name, date of
birth, place of residence, Social Security number, and physical and possibly other characteristics. What is even more disturbing is that, by mandating that states participate in the “Drivers License Agreement,” this bill creates a massive database of sensitive information on American citizens that will be shared with Canada and Mexico!

This bill could have a chilling effect on the exercise of our constitutionally guaranteed rights. It re-defines "terrorism" in broad new terms that could well include members of firearms rights and anti-abortion groups, or other such groups as determined by whoever is in power at the time. There are no prohibitions against including such information in the database as information about a person’s exercise of First Amendment rights or about a person’s appearance on a registry of firearms
owners.

This legislation gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to expand required information on driver’s licenses, potentially including such biometric information as retina scans, finger prints, DNA information, and even Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) radio tracking technology. Including such technology as RFID would mean that the federal government, as well as the governments of Canada and Mexico, would know where Americans are at all time of the day and night.

There are no limits on what happens to the database of sensitive information on Americans once it leaves the United States for Canada and Mexico - or perhaps other countries. Who is to stop a corrupt foreign government official from selling or giving this information to human traffickers or even terrorists? Will this uncertainty make us feel safer?

What will all of this mean for us? When this new program is implemented, every time we are required to show our driver’s license we will, in fact, be showing a national identification card. We will be handing over a card that includes our personal and likely biometric information, information which is connected to a national and international database.

H.R. 418 does nothing to solve the growing threat to national security posed by people who are already in the U.S. illegally. Instead, H.R. 418 states what we already know: that certain people here illegally are "deportable." But it does nothing to mandate deportation.

Why are we punishing Americans by taking away their freedoms instead of making life more difficult for those who would enter our country illegally?

H.R. 418 does what legislation restricting firearm ownership does. It punishes law-abiding citizens. Criminals will ignore it. H.R. 418 offers us a false sense of greater security at the cost of taking a gigantic step toward making America a police state.

And if you're not afraid of members of the U.S., Canadian and Mexican governments having access to your personal information, what about the owner of the bar you party at? When you show your I.D. as proof of age to drink, the bartender may scan your ID card into a reader, thereby storing all your information. Do you trust that guy to not abuse this information?

Think there's nothing you can do to stop this? Well, you may be right, but even if you're Right, if you value the rights we are supposedly guaranteed, you owe it to your fellow Americans to at least speak up and say you don't like the Real ID act. The surest thing the proponents of this act have going for them is that Americans aren't paying attention. Here's a petition you can sign that says you are:

https://secure.aclu.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&page=UserAction&id=195

We all know we need to prevent terrorism, but as the world's lone superpower, we have the resources to do better than this. Let's challenge the government to come up with a solution that actually works, and doesn't open the citizens of America to identity theft and a reduction of our Constitutionally protected freedoms.

And once again, thank you Congressman Paul.

Commandment XI: Thou Shalt Not Vote Democrat?

Recently here in my new home state of North Carolina, several members of a Baptist church were expelled when the Reverend discovered they had voted for John Kerry in the last election. Of course the Reverend denied the allegations, until an audio tape surfaced on which he was heard insisting that anyone who voted for Kerry must resign. Thou Shalt Not Lie?

Kerry, a Catholic, made it clear that he personally opposed abortion, but felt that legislating based on faith was outside the government's authority in a free, pluralistic society. This position wasn't enough to stop the Religious Right from campaigning against Kerry on the basis of morality.

Leonard Pitts of the Chicago Tribue wrote a nice opinion pice on the subject: I strongly suggest reading the ntire article, but here's a nice excerpt:

It's telling that when another Catholic ran for president 45 years ago--a fellow named Kennedy--he was required to assure anxious voters that he would not allow personal faith to dictate public policy.

How times change.

Some have said the moral here is that preachers should leave politics out of the pulpit. I disagree. Certainly, preachers should not lend their moral authority to political parties or candidates, or make churches into campaign headquarters. But it's a fallacy to believe social and political issues should never be discussed inside church walls. Had that been the case, there could never have been a civil rights movement.

So what galls me about Rev. Chandler's behavior is not that he talked politics per se, but that he assumes belief in God and belief in George W. to be synonymous. As one who believes in a God who is above party, I find that assumption offensive. But you hear it a lot these days. The right wing has cornered the market on God, evidence of both its marketing savvy and the left wing's illiteracy in the language of faith.

If you grew up, as I did, in an era when Christian meant, among other things, long-haired kids with denim-covered Bibles, you have to marvel that it now becomes the exclusive property of those who believe in big business and tax cuts. You have to marvel, too, at the ruthlessness with which they seek to enforce that lockstep mentality. Beg pardon, but it's none of Chan Chandler's business how anyone votes.

Frankly, what he did makes no sense. I mean, assuming a vote for Kerry were incompatible with Christian faith, what better place for such errant people to be than in a church? As a wise person once said, a church is not a museum for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

But too often these days, it seems to be neither, seems to be little more than a refuge for human meanness, pettiness, partisanship and smug self-satisfaction. One is embarrassed to have to remind such people of what ought to be patently obvious: God is not a Republican.

Read the whole article at: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/chi-0505170165may17,1,981714.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

"He is a loathesome, offensive brute. Yet I can't look away."

Hint, Hint, Hint! To anyone who wants to get us a housewarming present, check out this site:

http://www.richardhellergallery.com/dynamic/artist.asp?ArtistID=30

Mookie Of The Month - May

May

Mookie Of The Month - April

Mookie The Snow Dog

Fox News Best Of The Worst!

It's a sad statement on the state of American journalism when a FAKE news show is recognized for excellence in election coverage.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=529&e=1&u=/ap/20050407/ap_en_tv/peabody_awards

Congratulations John Stewart and Co.!

Boooo! to the rest of the mainstream press!



So now The Daily Show has two Peabody awards, just like Bill O'Reilly. Oh, wait a minute...

http://www.booktv.org/ram/feature/0603/btv060803_4.ram

(The whole clip is pretty good. But if you just want to watch Bill O'Reilly get skewered, here're the instructions:

The link should bring up Real Player.

The total clip is an hour and a half, but to get to the stuff I'm referncing, Skip about 41 minutes ahead. Al Franken recalls how Bill O'Reilly claimed to have one a Peabody award while working for Inside Edition, a claim that turned out to be false. Bill O'Reilly is on the panel while Al Franken recalls the story, and he is visibly outraged by what he's hearing.

Franken tells the story well, taking about 5 minutes. He then continues on a somewhat different track for a couple of minutes, and then gives up the podium.

O'Reilly responds by yelling "Shut up! You took 35 minutes you had your chance. Shut up!")

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0%2C2933%2C88364%2C00.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/06/03/print/main556715.shtml

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0308/25/se.20.html