Saturday, July 30, 2005's Top Videos Of The Week is a website that allows anyone to post their wave movies or flash videos for free. Why it is a free service, I don't know, but it's pretty cool that it is. Anyway, here are 5 of the most downloaded movies and flash videos off this week:

1. Hot chick driving a Ferrari 'nuff said.

2. Two Weird Japanese Kids This defies explanation. At first, it looks a bootlegged video of two kids horsing around with a video camera in a video they must've hoped would never see the light of day. Then, it becomes apparent that this is actually a highly rehearsed video that in ten years they will have hoped never saw the light of day. As they say here in the South, bless their hearts.

3. Funny Family Guy clip A funny clip from a great, great show. Look out for the Family Guy movie this fall.

4. A compilation of unfortunate events. Some people getting jacked up.

5. Really Bad MC Hammer/Old Guy/Elmo video. This is really lame. However, it allows me to dream that someday, with about 8 minutes of learning Flash, I could create a Top video.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

V.I.C.K.I.'s older, hotter sister

My friend Dave once said to me about the show "Small Wonder,"

"If you had the ability to create a lifelike female, why would you make her 11 years old?"

Japanese scientists apparently have had the same idea. They created a robot that looks and moves like an adult woman. Apparently it's not quite ready for Prime Time yet, though:

"Repliee Q1 can interact with people. It can respond to people touching it. It's very satisfying, although we obviously have a long way to go yet."

Full Story:

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

'Catastrophic Success,' or 'Mission Accomplished'

So, I didn't post yesterday, so technically my goal of posting every day for 30 consecutive days didn't happen. But, you'll live. i'll attempt to make up for it by talking about some success stories by other people.

Return To Space

First, the shuttle launch. I was in Vegas the morning of the launch, so since I didn't have to start my work duties out there until 10 AM Vegas time, I was able to watch the launch live at 7:30 AM. It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. The utter speed of the shuttle was so incredible. The reporters said at top speed, the shuttle could fly from New York to LA in ten minutes. Too bad we can't all get around that quick.

Here's video of the launch:

Here's video of the fuel tank seperating from the shuttle:

NASA's official page on the shuttle mission:

Tour De Lance

I tried earnestly to follow Lance Armstrong's attempt to win his 7th Tour De France. I read the daily reports several times, and I have come to realize I have no idea how cycling races work. Somehow it is a team sport, but I can't figure it out. I have heard that NASCAR is a team sport as well, though I'm not sure if it's the same type of thing.

Anyhow, I did learn something this week. And yes, I am aware that practically everyone else already knew this, but I didn't know that Lance had never won a Tour De France before his comeback from cancer. Again, I do realize he wrote a bestselling, highly inspirational book on this, which led to the proliferation of those yellow rubber wristbands to be worn everywhere, but I can't be the ONLY one to have not known this, so I am writing it anyway. He said that the reason he was always a failure in the French races was because he always dreaded going to Europe. He was consumed by his own negativity, and ultimately the cancer helped him focus on how fortunate he was, and what an amazing opportunity it was to be racing in this famous race. I now have a greater understanding of Lance Mania, though no better an understanding of the rules of his sport. Now, can his girlfriend release her new album already?

The Klosterman

Besides accumulating frequent flyer miles, time for leisure reading is the major benefit of travelling via airplane. I have always enjoyed reading Chuck Klosterman's columns in Esquire magazine, but I just discovered his book, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. A hysterical read. I am not even done with the book yet, but he's already become one of my favorite authors. Somehow managing to be ludicrous and dead-on insightful at the same time, I can't wait to share this book with friends. Klosterman examines small items in pop culture and analyzes them for clues on how they make statements on society as a whole. From The Real World to Billy Joel to John Cusak, it's the most interesting and funny book I've read in forever.

Thanks, Mr. Klosterman. You made being stuck in McCarren Airport for 6 hours not such a terrible experience. And that's despite having to listen to Rich Little's dreadfully unfunny impression of Kirk Douglas, warning passengers of the dangers of the moving sidewalk, on electronic loop over and over and over again for that same six hours.

"Hi this is Rich Little as Kirk Douglas, reminding you to watch your step. Otherwise you might fall on your dimple."

Monday, July 25, 2005

Yes, We May Have No Bananas!

Did you know that bananas are in danger of extinction? I heard this some time ago and shrugged it off as an urban myth, but this month's issue of Popular Science has a big article on the subject. In short, bananas as we know them are very vulnerable to being wiped out to a fungus or disease, and if it happened, would happen very quickly. Within 5 to ten years from now our supermarket shelves could be completely devoid of what is now America's most popular fruit!

This actually happened one other time in our history. The bananas on our kitchen tables 40 years ago were a bit different (and tastier) than the ones we have now. Those bananas, called the Gros Michel, were eventually wiped out by a fungus in the early 1960's, after a 50 year fight. They were replaced by what we eat now, a breed called The Cavendish. The demise of the Cavendish could be more imminent. A new disease is already affecting banana crops throughout Asia, and if the disease makes it's way to Latin America, the banana could be toast. Scientists are working feverishly to both build a defense against an impending fungus and develop a new breed of bananas that would replace the Cavendish in the event of it's demise. So far, the scientists haven't had luck in either area. Check out the full article for the story,,20967,1076199,00.html and enjoy The World's Perfect Food while you still can.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

A Little Summer Reading

A man named Josh Kaufman has compiled a list of 40 books, that if you read them all, would give you roughly the same education as if you had gone to business school to get your MBA. He calls it the Personal MBA Program, and by visiting you can discuss the books on the list as well as many other topics. It's this part that simulates the interactivity of a traditional MBA program.

So, if you are interested in an MBA program for the educational aspect, and not for the resume-padding aspect, this might be a cool project to take on. Or, if you've been illegitimately listing an MBA on your resume and are worried that you might be exposed as a fraud, this project may at least help you seem like you know what you're talking about!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Meet The Mets

Just finished reading "The Bad Guys Won," by Jeff Pearlman. It's the story of the 1986 Mets, one of the most dominating teams of all time. Jeff Pearlman not only takes us inside the clubhouse of this gang of jokers, ball-busters, excessive drinkers, and wildly talented ball players, he takes us onto the plane where the team celebrated their NLCS victory with such a wild party that they destroyed the jet's interior.

We learn about all the different personalities, and get inside the sad deconstruction of two of the most talented players to ever play the game. Dwight Gooden and Daryl Strawberry simply threw their talents away. On the other end of the spectrum was Gary "the Kid" Carter. His squeaky clean image, big smile, and exuberence in front of the camera rubbed practically everyone the wrong way. Opposing players hated him and his own teammates couldn't stand him, mostly because he wasn't like them. He wasn't a drinker, a carouser, a brawler... mostly, he wasn't cool. He was a big geek and like bullies in a schoolyard, thugs can't stand a geek.

The last few pages take us to the present day, and how each of these guys are faring almost twenty years later. Undisputably, the title for most successful career from that team goes to The Kid. The only Hall Of Famer on the club, Gary Carter gives hope to all nerds getting wedgies in high schools around the country.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Quiz NOT Created by Charles Schultz of The Month

Someone sent this quiz to me that was supposedly created by Chales M. Shultz (creator of Peanuts). Well, the quiz wasn't created by him, but it's pretty insightful anyway:

You don't actually have to take the quiz. Just read this straight through and you'll get the point. Here's the first quiz:
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

How did you do? The facts are, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Kind of cool, huh? Okay, now here's a quote that actually was written by Charles M. Shultz:

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today ...... It's already tomorrow in Australia."

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Odd Picture Of The Month

Snopes is a great site to debunk myths. As often as the Internet is used to dispurse misinformation, Snopes works really hard to sort out the truth.

Please visit often for all your myth debunking needs, but today just check out this page for the weirdest picture you may ever see:

What is Art?

I came across this clip and didn't really think much of it. I didn't think it was very shocking or even very funny. Then I followed the creator's (not THE Creator's) suggestion that I read the reactions to the clip, here, and the heated discussion that ensued. It was then I understood that the clip is, undisputably, Art. This is 21st century art. Instantly accessible to everyone, the way art is supposed to be, and evoking emotions, as art does at it's best.

I now have a better appreciation for some of the more abstract modern art that exists. Art doesn't have to be anything, or mean anything specific, but great art does evoke emotions, even if it is just a passionate response decrying the art as not art.

Damn I'm profound.

The clip:

The blog (scroll down for the Comments section):

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

One of my favorite shows on TV right now is Aqua Teen Hunger Force, on Cartoon Network. It's absolutely hysterical, but since it usually airs at 3:00 in the morning, I count on my Tivo to record it nightly. Anyhow, the show is 15 minutes long, and follows the adventures of the three main characters: Frylock (a box of French Fries), Master Shake (a giant milkshake), and Meatwad (a meatball), as well as their neighbor Carl (aging Guido). The show is too strange to describe any further, but I just found out a full length movie is in the works. I predict it will make at least $750,000 in the theater.

Here are the lyrics to the theme song by Schooly D:

My name is...
Shake zula
The mic rula
The old schoolah
You wanna trip? I'll bring it to ya
Frylock and I'm on top rock you like a cop
Meatwad you up next with your knock knock
Meatwad get the moneysee
Meatwad get the honeys, G
Drivin in my car livin like a star
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus
Cuz we are the Aqua Teens
Makes the homies say HO and the girlies wanna scream
Cuz we are the Aqua Teens
Makes the homies say HO and the girlies wanna scream!
HaHa! Aqua Teen Hunger Force number 1 in the hood G

Number One indeed.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Aristocrats

I heard about this movie, created by Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller), and this "joke" about a year or so ago when this South Park clip was sent to me. As I understand it, the joke is really a gag played by stand-up vets on rookie comics or sometimes on nightclub audiences.

The idea behind the gag is that a hack comic without any real material will often just get up on stage and curse a lot, as if anything dirty is inherently funny. In the practical joke, the test is to see how much the rookie comic (or audience) will laugh at a joke with no punchline.

There are a million variations on how the joke is told, and the upcoming movie shows star comedians with their versions. In all the versions this is how the joke goes: A family is pitching their vaudeville show idea to a venue, and the act they're pitching is a series of outrageously vile acts on one another. After the act is explained, the organizer asks what the family calls their routine. They respond, "The Aristocrats."

How in the world a full length movie can be made out of this I have no idea but apparently it's all supposed to be a statement on free speech or something but so far, if you believe this article, the reviews have been great and audiences have found it really entertaining.

To view the trailer, see the list of comics who perform the joke in the movie, as well as for a better explanation of what this joke is and what this movie is like, visit the official site:

Monday, July 18, 2005

A New York State of Mind

If you're a transplanted New Yorker, or need a gift for one, I've learned of an excellent website. One of the things I've missed about New York is the availability of rainbow cookies, also known as seven layer cookies. If you've ever attended a New York wedding you know these tasty treats: On a giant platter of assorted Italian cookies, you'll find two or three of these heavenly morsels, in all their red, yellow, and green glory. Grab one fast because they don't last long!

Anyway, these cookies are nowhere to be found down here, but I was given a box of them as a gift this weekend by my new favorite coworker. She ordered them from This website is incredible! In addition to these cookies and Jerry Seinfeld's favorite black and white cookies from the William Greenberg Bakery, browse around and you'll also find Guss's pickles, H&H Bagels, Kossar's Bialy's, and Junior's of Brooklyn Cheesecake! Now all I need is Angelo's Pizza. Mmmmm......

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Public Service Announcement Of The Month

Luckily I haven't yet been the victim of identity theft, but I've been researching it quite a bit lately. The best site I've found on the subject is Vicims Assitance Of America. They provide a free service to anyone who's been a victim of identity theft, and they are aggressively fighting to reduce the incidence of the crime.

They also provide a long (i.e. exhausting) list of ways you can reduce the risk of identity theft happens to you. It's worth reading the whole list, but it seems these are the two most effective steps a person can take:

#3. Opt out of pre-approved credit and insurance offers as allowed under the Fair Credit Reporting Act (15 U.S.C. section 1681b (e). By calling 1-888-5OPT-OUT (1-888-567-8688) consumers can prevent the 4 national bureaus from releasing their name on the prescreened lists used to create pre-approved offers. The consumer has the option to opt out for 2 years or for life. We at VAA recommend for life and being done with it. This information is included in the ID THEFT LINKS section of the website also.

#22. Pull credit reports for the entire family at least once a year and be sure they are still clean of any tampering and accurate. At the VAA website click on the CREDIT REPORTS button in the left hand row of buttons and order your first ones now. Have all three credit reporting agencies put a permanent fraud alert on every family member’s credit report: and also a PIN or password if you haven’t done so yet. A fraud alert will make it where you can’t walk into a retail establishment any longer and get “instant credit” in your name –but neither can anyone else.

With a fraud alert on your credit reports at just three agencies, if anyone tries to use your name to establish credit the company extending credit in your name must call you first and get your OK. The fraud alert however is not fail-safe. We now recommend that you also ask for a PIN or password to be added to all three agencies report. This also makes it where no one can get instant credit. It totally locks down your credit report from anyone accessing it except you.

If you need to get a home loan or the like – you will have to offer to get the credit reports for the company (do not give them your password info). This step will stop pre-approved credit offers because those companies will not be able to access your account to see if you qualify. This one step alone would take a huge bite out of identity theft if everyone would just do it. How far can a perpetrator get if your permission has to be gotten in advance and no one can access your credit reports to authorize opening new accounts in your name? Do it Now! An Identity Thefter (when in access to your info) knows that he must act immediately to run up bills and move on. If your fraud alert and PIN/password is already in place, hopefully He’ll move on to his next victim the first time he’s turned down for credit in you name. If you find anything that you’d like to question or notice any problem when you receive your credit reports – feel free to CONTACT VAA by phone or e-mail so that a VAA Advocate can assist you with it.

Read the entire list at:

Friday, July 15, 2005

And everyone's phone number starts with 555

Check out this funny webpage that lists 40 things that only happen in movies. Among the rules listed:

#13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

#39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).

#18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback

#35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Living In A Jet Plane

Are you bored with your current home? Would you prefer to have one that has many more windows and is very strange looking? Your new home will be absolutely hurricane and flood proof, but part of the defense is that your new home to spins around with the wind like a weathervane on a column. How does that sound? Oh, and how about making this new house out of an old plane?

There is a company that is offering for sale: a B727-200 aircraft that they will convert into a house for a mere $300,000 (land not included).

Just imagine the parties!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Fire Him, Please!

"I mean, my first thought when I heard, just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, 'Hmmm, time to buy.'"

- from an on-air transcript of Brit Hume, Washington Managing Editor, FoxNews, 7/7/2005.

This is the same tool who once said on air:

“Two hundred seventy-seven U.S. soldiers have now died in Iraq, which means that statistically speaking U.S. soldiers have less of a chance of dying from all causes in Iraq than citizens have of being murdered in California, which is roughly the same geographical size. The most recent statistics indicate California has more than 2300 homicides each year, which means about 6.6 murders each day. Meanwhile, U.S. troops have been in Iraq for 160 days, which means they’re incurring about 1.7 deaths, including illness and accidents each day.”

Of course this is a ridiculous manipulation of numbers! As Howard Kurtz reported in the Washington Post, “California has 34 million people, but there are 145,000 U.S. soldiers in Iraq.” As calculated, this means that U.S. troops in Iraq at that time were 66 times more likely to die than Californians were likely to be murdered. When Kurtz asked him about his comment, Hume responded: "Admittedly it was a crude comparison, but it was illustrative of something."

This man is a jackass and needs to be exposed as so!

Please don't fire me

So I put a posting up about tuning in to watch Fire Me Please on CBS, and it's not even on. I guess it's already on hiatus or something. Well, if it ever comes back on the air, check it out. It's a very funny show!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Fire Me, Please

My favorite new TV show of the summer is called Fire Me, Please, and it airs Tuesday nights on CBS. It's sort of like a game show version of Punk'd without celebrities. Basically they hide cameras in two stores where the contestants have been hired to work. The two people try to get fired on their first day of work, but they have to get fired as close to 3:00, without going over. The one who does wins like $25,000 or something, but that's besides the point. The entertainment value of the show is seeing how funny it is watching how much the bosses will put up with before they finally fire the people. It's really a riot to watch.

This link has some video clips:

official link:

Monday, July 11, 2005

Where do you stand?

The past two presidential elections created a very testy environment between the two parties. We've become a nation divided into Red States and Blue States, with all of us individuals feeling isolated if we happen to have voted one way while our state went the other. We feel obliged to pick a side, declare our allegiance to it, and consider the opposing party the enemy. Well, if we're gonna pick sides, we may as well make sure the one we pick is in line with how we feel in our heart of hearts. Are you a 'conservative' because your parents are? Are you a 'liberal' because you don't care for George Bush?

Well here's a neat online questionaire that will help you figure out not only which side of the fence you really sit, but also just how Left or how Right you may actually be. The quiz may reaffirm your perspective or it might serve to make you question your allegiance entirely! Take it and see for yourself:

Saturday, July 09, 2005

American Girl

Check out the work of Tom Petty's daughter...

She and I were in college at the same time. She at NYU, me at Hofstra. I never went through with my grand scheme of tranferring to NYU, dating and marrying Adria just so I could call Tom Dad.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Suicidal Sheep?

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey

This is one of the crazier stories I've heard in a while. In Turkey, 1,500 sheep jumped of a cliff, killing 450 of them. Apparently the first one fell, or jumped, or whatever, and the rest followed! After a while, the fall was less deadly as the pile of sheep got bigger and bigger and provided more of a cushion for the sheep that followed later. Kind of a huge wool landing pad I guess.
I, for one, question the total number of sheep that jumped. I'm thinking the shepherds would have fallen asleep after counting the first few dozen. 1... 2.... 3.... 4.... Zzzzzzz....
Bah dum dum.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Jolie, Pitt Taking Home Ethiopian Orphan


Most people just bring home a T-shirt or a snowglobe as a souvenir when they go on vacation...

Music Notes

With the sad images coming out of London this morning, reminding us what a violent world we live in, I thought this was a good time to provide a couple music links. Music has always been my favorite way to escape a little bit, and help me get through difficult periods.

Firstly, here's a cool link for any true-blue Counting Crows fans. It's a whole page of rare songs and alternate versions to some of your favorite CC songs. I happen to think that Adam Duritz is one of the best songcrafters of this generation, so this was a real treat for me:

Secondly, this may be one of the worst pieces of music to have ever been created, but it makes me smile all the same, so it's a must watch. It's the 1986 Mets video for the team’s theme song that season, Lets Go Mets. Link: Even if you're not a Mets fan it's a real riot to watch. A peek back at a different era, of sorts. Really, whatever happened to this lost art form, the team sports video? Remember the Chicago Bears' Super Bowl Shuffle? I guess the 2004 Red Sox are just too cool to create a World Series Wiggle or whatever.

Finally, here's the video of Jessica Simpson washing a car in a bikini:*
I'd say the music is secondary to the imagery in this video, but that would be giving the music too much credit. Enjoy!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I'm Lovin' Flippin Burgers?

McDonalds is looking to hire Puff Daddy, Tommy Hilfiger, or some other top designer to design new employee uniforms. They say they want to "create uniforms that our crews would want to wear outside the restaurant environment."

McDonalds must be on drugs if they think any employee will want to advertise the fact that they work at McDonalds.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Most Awesome Website of The Month

This site is great on so many levels. Do you have a secret that you've been holding inside, that you can't bear to tell anyone? PostSecret is a website where people can anonymously tell their secrets to the world. It's utterly fascinating to read the secrets of others! And I am positive it is very helpful for people to read secrets posted that they themselves also have. Additionally, the artwork is beautiful and raw.

Anyone can post any kind of secret to the website. The only rule is that it must be a true secret that has never been shared with anyone before.

Visit Now:

Special Thanks to Ralphy's blog for the link:

Cinco de Julio

Hope you had a happy Independence Day, and didn't lose any fingers! Today's posting marks the first post in my attempt to post consecutively for 30 straight days. I've rarely been able to post for more than two straight days, so I'll be very proud of myself if I can pull it off.

The goals of this attempt are to see if I can create 30 days of relatively engaging content, thereby improving the overall quality of this blog, and hopefully generate more traffic.

So... check back here daily for my comments on pop culture and politics, reviews of movies and TV shows, and, of course, the Mookie Pic of The Month.

Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Happy Canada Day

Well, we've made it to July. According to the calendar in my cube, that means Canada Day has arrived! Boy hasn't the year just flown by? It seems like we just celebrated this holiday...

Meanwhile has done nothing to acknowledge the holiday. Whenever a holiday comes around you can count on google to alter their logo to acknowledge the day. Today, nothing. What, they couldn't change one of the O's to a maple leaf, at the least?

Sheesh. Happy Canada Day, everyone!