Lessons In Effective Copywriting

Jay Dyckman, of McSweeneys.net, has some suggestions for how to improve the effectiveness of animal adoption ads. Here's an example:

Rocky
MALE CALICO

Current: My name is Rocky and I was abandoned here at the center. I'm 10 years old and looking for a nice home to live out my golden years. Please come down and say hello. Until you come, I'll be waiting here. Full disclosure: I have a hyperthyroid and am blind in one eye. Hasn't slowed me down, though, and I'm sure it's something you can handle.

Suggested: Let's get real honest. If I don't come home with you, I'm taking a one-way trip on the needle express. And all those touchy-feely posters out front describing the center's painless euthanasia procedure? Says who? We can't talk, you know. It's your call.

Check out all the rewritten ads here.