When Santa came over to you that foggy Christmas Eve and asked, "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?," I couldn't wait for the part where you'd tell Santa to stick it up his ass, and run off with Hermey to open a thriving dental practice on the Island of Misfit Toys. So what if Christmas got canceled that year and all the little boys and girls all over the world would wake up to empty stockings by the fireplace. You needed to teach Santa a lesson in how to treat people.
However, you didn't do that. Instead, to my shock, you were happy that Santa asked you to guide his sleigh! You said, "Sure, I'll guide your sleigh! I'd be thrilled to!" Then off you went with that creep, who up until then had treated you like you were the bastard child of the Elephant Man.
Read the full letter here. Happy Holidays everyone!